This Means War 3
by Nice-Pants-Dude
Summary: Sasori continues to be a man whore. Gym time!


"Ah, Sasori, that was great," the raven haired female said, rolling on top of her boyfriend. Sasori smirked.

"Well, I am the best fucker in the school, you're lucky," he said, kissing her lightly on the cheek. It seemed to be a loving kiss, but it wasn't. It was a fake kiss, just like all the other ones.

"Mmm, I am lucky, too bad Dei turned you down, he's missin' out," she said, running her hand over his chest. "Mmm, he's REALLY missin' out."

Sasori's smirk faded. "Are you friends with Dei?"

"Everyone is!"

"Everyone? As in EVERYONE in the whole damn school?"

"Yup."

"Holy shit, it's only been a month," Sasori said, eyes slightly wide, running a hand through his hair. "How would you know, anyway?"

"Oh, he told me."

"He told you?"

"Yup, I can remember him saying it in his cute little voice, just like this: 'I finally met everyone in the whole school, un! And I think they all like me, too!'" Saya said, giggling. "He's so cute! His voice is just precious, as well! It's not anything like a guy's, it's nothing like that gay guy voice, it's KINDA close to a girl's voice, but not really, an-,"

"He sounds like a little chibi," Sasori answered. Saya just stared at him, eyes slightly wide.

"Excuse me?"

"He sounds like a little chibi, or a cute little girl or something, heh, it's adorable," the red head said, chuckling. Saya pouted.

"You're MY boyfriend, you can't think Dei's adorable while you're MY boyfriend," she said, kissing him on the neck a couple times.

"It's impossible, you gotta admit, it's fuckin' impossible. He's too damn hot for his own good," he said.

Saya whacked him lightly on the head.

"Oh, sorry," Sasori mumbled, giving Saya a chaste kiss, which she eagerly returned.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"DEI!!!!" Konan squealed, glomping her blonde friend.

"Ack, un!" was all Dei could say as he was squished by Konan. She just gave him a big grin, ignoring the fact that Deidara was having trouble breathing.

"Dei, guess what?!" she practically yelled, bouncing up and down happily.

"Un?"

"Pein asked me out!" she whispered, before squealing.

Deidara's eyes grew wide, a grin soon spreading over his face. "Really, un?! Konan, that's great! Wait, you said yes, right?"

"Of course! But I kept it cool, I didn't squeal or anything, like I just did, I just smiled and said sure, kissed him on the cheek, then, oh, he's just so PERFECT!" she sighed contently, hugging the blonde.

Deidara laughed, hugging Konan back. Just then, they saw Saya running down the hall, tears streaming down her face, her long black hair flowing behind her. Dei caught her arm, pulling her to a stop. Everyone was staring at her in the hall, most of them wearing faces of pure pity.

"S-Saya? What's wrong, un? What's wrong? Shh, shh, I can wait, just tell me eventually what's wrong, un," the sculptor soothed, pulling Saya into a tight hug against his chest. She cried loudly, many tears streaming down her face, shaking uncontrollably.

Saya sniffled a couple times before mumbling something softly. "What, un?" She mumbled something again, but still too soft for anyone to hear. "Un?"

"S-Sasori, h-he-," she tried to speak, but only broke into tears again.

"Saya, un? What did Sasori do? Please tell me, please," Deidara said, still holding her against his chest. She was taller than him, so it was kind of hard, but nobody was thinking about that now.

"S-Sasori, h-h-he . . . dumped me. But not only did he just dump me, but he dumped me right when our relationship was getting deep, and he dumped me with his friends right behind him," she whispered, no longer crying, but sniffling softly.

Deidara's eyes widened. He pulled Saya into a tight hug, giving no signs of letting go.

"How long was your relationship?" Konan asked, getting both Saya and Deidara to look over at her. Saya blushed.

"Only a week, but-," Saya started.

"Exactly," Konan said, glaring at the ground.

"Un?"

"Your relationship was deep in only one week? That's not normal. He was just trying to use you as much as possible, as fast as possible, so he can move into the next one. He's a man whore, what do you expect?"

Saya sniffled and shook her head. "I have no idea what I was thinking! Everyone told me not to! I-I don't know what made me say yes when he asked me out," she said, clutching Deidara' shoulders.

"I'm hot, what else?"

The three turned to see Sasori, his gang right behind him (like always). Deidara and Konan glared daggers at the red head, Saya turning her gaze to the floor.

"Aw, why's Saya sad?" Sasori teased.

"'Cause of YOU, asshole!" Konan shouted, taking a step towards the group. Sasori laughed.

"Ch! Well, I'm sorry," he said sarcastically, smirking.

"You should be, un!"

Sasori's eyes followed the little voice, his smirk turning into a grin. "Really, Dei?" he asked, mockingly.

"Yes, un! You basterd!" Deidara spat out.

The red head raised a brow, walking slowly towards the blonde. Deidara took a couple steps back, still glaring at the red head. "Get the hell away from me, you bastered, un," Dei mumbled.

"Aw, you're so cute when you're angry, ya know that?" Sasori said, now smirking.

Deidara could feel his cheek heating up a little. "Shut up, man whore," he mumbled, taking more steps back.

"Nope," Sasori answered, smiling tauntingly.

The sculptor rolled his eyes and turned around, starting to walk away. "Heh, you look so feminine when you do that," he heard behind him. Deidara stiffened as a vein popped on his head.

He spun around, teeth clenched, ready to yell something, only to be stopped by Konan placing her hand over his mouth, slowly pulling him away.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
~*~ONE WEEK LATER~*~

"Okay class, today we are going to weigh ourselves, then at the end of the month, we're going to weigh ourselves again, ya know, to see how much weight we have lost or gained. NOW, who wants to go first?" the coach asked, a smile on her face.

Nobody moved.

"Fine then, Mr. Uchiha, why don't you go first?" she said. It wasn't really a question, more of a command.

Itachi grumbled, but stepped on the scale, looking up at the huge black board to see his weight. In a couple seconds, it showed:

140 pounds

20% body fat

Itachi sighed, relieved, he was in perfect shape.

The coach laughed a little, and clapped her hands once. "Good job, Uchiha! You're in great shape! Now, let's try to get those numbers down a little, shall we? Thirty laps, GO!" she said. Itachi groaned, but started running.

More and more people went, some over weight, some under weight, and some in shape. It was finally down to three people. (Guess who they are? xD)

"Akasuna, you're up!" the coach called. The rest of the students were done running, and their attention turned to the red head.

Sasori stepped on the scale, and the board read:

144 pounds

22% body fat

Much clapping was heard form the students, and from the teacher. "Well, you're in shape! But I want to see those numbers go DOWN! Now, Akasuna, thirty-five laps, GO!"

Sasori started running as the coach called up the next person, "Mizu! You! Are! UP!"

Konan stepped on the scale, biting her lip. The scale read:

130 pounds

10% body fat

Konan sighed, a smile growing on her face. "Yes," she whispered.

"Great job, Mizu! You're in very good shape! Keep the same weight, and you'll do fine! Now, twenty laps, GO!" the coach called out, as Konan started running.

"Now, the last, but not least, Mr. Iwa! Please make your WEIGH down!" the coach joked, laughing. (crickets chirping)

Deidara walked up to the scale, hesitantly stepping on it. It read:

115 pounds

10% body fat

More clapping was heard, many wolf whistles thrown in there.

"Wow, Iwa, I didn't think you had so much muscle," the coach said, lifting one of Deidara's arm's and squeezing it lightly. "Hmm, you're not overweight or underweight, you're not a stick, you're . . . perfect! Great! Great Job, Iwa! 20 laps, GO!"

Sasori was now done with his laps, arms crossed in front of his chest, leaning against the brick wall. After a while, a smirk formed on his lips and he started chuckling a little bit.

"Hmm? What's so funny, Sasori?" Itachi asked, turning his head in the direction of his best friend. He was also leaning against the wall, right next to the red head.

Sasori laughed a little bit more before answering, "Did you know that 115 pounds is the perfect weight of a sexy girl?"

"Excuse me, un?"

Sasori looked in front of him to see the blonde he was talking about. He smiled mockingly and said, "Yes, Dei-chan?"

Deidara rolled his eyes and groaned, obviously annoyed, stomping away.

The red head chuckled more. "He's so cute."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"He's so stupid, un! Why can't he just DIE?" the sculptor groaned, stuffing his face in his pillow. Konan hugged him, smiling.

"Aw, Dei, it's gonna be fine! Sasori's gonna eventually just get tired of picking on you and move to some other person, don't worry about it!" she said, allowing Deidara to sit up.

Deidara placed a hand over his heart, clutching his shirt. For some reason, those words kind of hurt . . .

BANG BANG BANG

"Who the HELL would come to our door at this hour?!" Konan asked, looking at her blonde best friend questionably.

Dei shrugged, but got up and walked towards the door. Forgetting to look through the peep hole, he opened the door, revealing a grinning Sasori. Deidara's eyes narrowed as his face drooped. Oh yay.

"Hello, Dei-chan. I was just wondering if-,"

"Hell no." Deidara said, slamming the door in the red head's face.


End file.
